Labels: Life told me, lyfe told me''im not that bad''

hey, blogging again. 6th march.


well, lots and lots to tell. firstly ... my exams, to tell the truth, i did badly. swear i did. O levels are coming so soon... n my common test results suck. actually im not worried bt parents scoldings. but i hate it wen i have to look down on myself. like u knw, study so hard n u dun do well like how u expected it to be. and wen u also have high aims for the big Os. irritating la. the thing is i can't give up now, even if i feel like it. i dunt knw wen to start or how to start again. im just so scared of failing again, and get dissapointed all over AGAIN. rallie, i pray hard for my own well being. insyallah.

and the next thing is, mt teeth aches like HELL!! god, i had braces on like two days ago. and the pain is torturing!! seriosely it makes me fuming mad.....! the other worst thing is i can't eat!!im like living on kfc porridge, no chocolates n potato chips!? god, for 3 yrs? i think i wud get a slinmmer body uh..but still no fun uh.. and my mouth is like pouting , i think i look like a duck.
and u knw my sprained leg,its still not well, eventhough i sprained it so hard long time ago. and im having a bad sore throat, yesterday asrina told me she had a sore throat, i knew i too wud have it. and i did but also with a block nose, again.
pain, pls go away.mercy me alot.

and i miss my fwens. reallie i feel im parting away.. drifting apart. not like before anymore and i dunt knw how to have it back, the way i want it to be.like before.

and bby i reallie hope, u dont foget me. cosiiereallielwveuualotanddimstiillwaitinggforreeuwithhope.
take care dear.

ONE AND ONLY THING IM PRAYING TO GOD ALWAYS
'' GOD, PLS MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR ME''


Alot of things just aint right animore, but i dun care, first priority is my studies:)
and to say, im so left behind guys bring me forward before i totally lose it all.
and one more thing, gals, sorry if i am not how i had always been to u all. just have lots to think about. i dun't hate u. i can never do that. i love u guys alot. i honour our frienship. i need time.
and bby, im waiting for euu. take care dear.

heyhey.
happie new year everyone. a beginning of a new start today, especiallie for me..!
must lose lots of weight and study harder.
be happy and forget all worries.
well, lots to say, im just lazy to type it all out.

firstly im excited to go back sch.
i want meet all my beloved friends..!
but the sad part is, katherine.
she's not in the same level as us.
but atleast im always meeting her.i miss her.
so much.
my wonderful bestiee.frends since sec2 but it seemed
longer.. haizz.
and anthr special friend, edora.who also couldn't
make it with us together.
imagine history class without edora?
i'll rot.
it doesn't mean i only need her
during history class or wad.
but we just got close lasr yr in sec 3,
so im not ready to lose her so fast..
with her funny stories and jovial fun..!
we shared alot of things together.
i hope to meet her so soon.
edora, i miss u!


and i miss my other betieeeez, Bel,cel,asrina,asnida
and the list goes on n on.i miss my whole class.
and its bel bdae tmrw, happy birthday in advance beyb!
i love you!!


and u knw wad, i haven do any of my hmwks at all. maybe last min again.
blame myself. i shud have done it long ago.
and im starting tuition soon.
i reallie neeed to study hard. i want pass o levels n be proud of myself.
hehx, i wan be a U graduate.
that depends on me.
haiz, im praying to be less lazy and more hardworking.
and concentrating fully on my studies.
cos thats my future.

ashifa, be good alryte :)

hmm, and im happy, free frm worries.
only about coming Os.
yay, im happie.
and im starving, to lose fats.
i really hate food now.
still i cant leave without them.

so yea, thats wad i manage to type,
u knw i have lazy fingers.

alryte, meet again, take care dear.

heyy there, haha, blogging, edora told me to, heehx, actually i got lots to tell,just plain lazy.

Holidays like usual, boring. boring. nothing is planned yet cOs we're waiting for my bro's psle results and then decide the school, i dont think he is coming my sch at all. he sort of high class.

And i cant wait for sch to re-open..! happie sia new sch, hehex, but im scared sick, my Olevels are next year, mths coming. die die.confirm die. study also die wan. becosss, im not readii. study hard still i have exam stress, i always have. scared. just wish i was prepared fully.im just feeling the pressure.

The next problem, im getting fatter. i swear i hate HOLIDAYS..! im like eating n eating, n eating. but once im dieting, i still dont lose weight. stubborn thing. its so frustrating, i think lossing weight could also lead to stress, menn. i have 1 mth to go, the whole of december, imagine,how much more fatty acids + glycerol i would have gotten.alot. shit la.shit.shit.shit.shit.

I miss my friends lots, bel,kat, cel, asrina,edora, asnida,penn... and kat's, not joinging us in the same level, and so is edora, not in the same class animore. ='( sad luh. one thing for sure, its not gonna be like before. time change alot. im not sure if it changes to the worst or better, wad cud be better u tell me.

Im confused, im not sure. im lost.im scared. im worried. if you are telling the truth, or to make it all just for fun im taking it for real. shud i? ... waited 3 yrs, its long. very.
if u wud just pay attention to me, and understand. if u wud.wud u? i knw u knw how i feel.
but do u care? ya? no?
i'm just waiting.like always.

And i dun't knw why, when i think again, i feel angry, furious, like shooting some enemies.
alot, u people, u knw what i think abt u, Ugly. thats the only decent word to use here. but u knw im cursing alot on u people. watch me stare. and you'll know who.HATRED.im way better than u ALL, i swear.

I finally got the novels, eclipse n breaking dawn. i was looking for them, thank god.
and im vowing, not to eat alot. just little.very little. i hate fat.
alryte, blogged. take care dear.

hello world. im back after a dead blog.


EOY is all gone, gone. now its results, the other end of stress. not funny.really. ugh, i hope im up up to 4express, i reallieee hope. if god permits. now, im just enjoying holidays, shopping..having fun slacking. yeaa.. but the best part is snuggling up into bed with a good book. thats lovelie. NEW MOON. a new book to start, oh,n tell u wad, the book is Amazingly, good. a worthful thing.


now, i think im like drifted apart away,from some loved ones. i dunt know y, maybe not the way we used to be? or its just time. i hope it gets back altogether. friendship a gift; i believe. i treasure gifts,so as friendships.i love my gals.

and and, now, i know, ''********'' never be mine. wud that happen? i'll pray alot to Allah, Insyallah. if GOD permits, i'll be happy.if not then its not meant to be. but i feel so so sad.cos i just cant forget. i hope patience and courage help.
so so, now. i just wait,relax and pay attention to whats happening around me.but now im so tired. so i'll log out,now. take care dear.





Tata =]

Labels: indeed u are., lyfe told me''im not that bad''

hey, todae.

im finallie blogging actualli im lazy.
lazy lazy. my always weakness.
so i have lots to tell.

first i want to talk abt the books ive read.
srslie they were so beautiful. sweet.
its all abt how life getting so perfect and toppled all over badly.
and it also such a lesson learnt.
believing in urself. feeling great, even though you are not.
how u can make life great just by believing u can.
and also admiring the writers way of expressing each each of her feelings
that she wants us to know. wow, i love books.
it cud ge sad, lovelie, jeolousy, hatred and admiration once u read them
mostly saying, books are one of my milliion idols.
they're my companion, sincerely.
well, im looking forward to Meg cabots and Ellen Hopkins new published books.
and another book which is p.s i love you. aniione know wher to get that book?

so next is abt how lost i am, i need to work hard on my tsudies, though im so lazy.
i still am not stupid.
i am so better than that.
maths is hard but wen i study, i think its way easier.
i have not memorised bio notes, im so dead.
poa, like usual, suck.
but i nd to pass. oh God, help, exchange my teacher.
and sch is so boring nowadays, i dun see my fwens like usuallie
how we always see each other.

and im happie that my frens are happie together, again, lessons learnt.
still i feel lost.wher i am?
well, another bdae is coming up.saving, wad to buy uh?
erm.. than after tha is a belate bdae for my sis, that also , dun know wat to buy.


and i give up. being strong. i just need to give myself a break. i want to smile, alot.
i want to laugh alot.
i want to know that everything wud be okae.
i want not to worrie.
i want to be happie.

and i am still trying to forget u.
its hard, i swear.
i cant forget the memories we had.
still its just memories, and it hurts alot, thinking bout it.
pain.
lost.

oh, i miss my fwens.
All of them. All of u akay!
gals, i love you.
haha, yea.

now i feel like slapping enemies.
kicking their ass.
well, im gonna be better than u all.
wait n watch.

stare at me, i dun care,
im better than u.
p.s, and im seriouse its true.



Bby, i love you.

Labels: confessions.